My tears still drop...

Dear blog,

U have become my new besfren. These few days, rindu sangat kat Mama. I have so many things to share but there is no one for me to talk to. Papa lain..abg pun lain. Last weken , aku visit pusara mama after 1 month tak visit. I cant control myself bcos I MISS MAMA so much. I was so down. Terlalu lemah, terlalu sedih, terlalu rindu. On Sunday, aku pergi sorang diri. Just to be near mama alone. I told her I have bought new car...I told her I got bonus, I told her everything I want to tell her hoping that all that disampaikan pada Mama. I ask Allah to give me strengh like He gave to my mama before.... Right now i feel so fragile and lost...Ya Allah, kuatkan aku...

I go through mama recipe book today. Ada satu buku ditulis year 1981..I was 4yrs old by then. I come across my drawing , well actually my conteng2 in the book. Mama tak padam pun... mama biar je kat situ in between the recipe... My tears drop fast... I dont even remember I had my drawing in there. I have not open the book since then i guess....

When I was in kindergarden, mama send me by walking..its not near, but mama dont care. I was tough kid back then. Tak nak pergi sekolah...panjat pagar and all...Mama sabar layan..mama even wait for me till I calmed down....but at last mama found solution...Mama get me transport, so she doesnt have to walk, she just wait for me at the block. I was ok with transport...dah tak panjat pagar...

Thats what I mIss her most...Mama always has a solution for my problem. Ada sekali tu , aku goreng kaki ayam..and its meletup,minyak percik all over. If Mama still around, I would definitely call and ask her what to do. Last 2 days I burned my thumb...I told Papa, he just said 'ok ke'?...if Mama, mesti she give suggestion what to do...

I lost Mama...I Lost part of myself...I lost my energy... I am lost in this sorrow...
The last thing I want to hear from people is 'How are U?'..bcos i would lie to answer that question...I'm not OK...I am still recovering very slowly....

I mISS u

52 days After you gone...

Mama, Every Second I'm thinking of YOu....Wajah Mama sentiasa terbayang..senyum mama...ketawa mama masih terngiang...ucapan Hello Sayang Mama for me every time i call selalu bermain dlm kepala ni.....

MAma I MISS U...

Ever Since

Hi My Blog....

Ever since My Angel return to eternity, I was down and devastated.
There is no day passed by without me missing her..
I was crying hard every time I miss her voice, miss her touch
I have no one to share the same way I used to share with her
My tears drop almost every day

How Am I gonna to live my life my Dear Allah....
Almighty Allah, Please give the same strength You have given My Angel before..
Please makes me strong in my Faith and Iman so I won't do stupid things..
Please guides me, love me, give Your Barakah and Redha as My Angle used to give me before..

I may looks as tough little lady....but deep inside I am so fragile, vulnerable..
I am Lost trying to find myself in this loneliness
I can go insane trying to talk to My Angel and hope she reply back..

I want her to be in happy and peace in 'that' world but I MISS HER SO MUCH ... And Almighty ALLAH, Please Help Me..