Dear blog,
U have become my new besfren. These few days, rindu sangat kat Mama. I have so many things to share but there is no one for me to talk to. Papa lain..abg pun lain. Last weken , aku visit pusara mama after 1 month tak visit. I cant control myself bcos I MISS MAMA so much. I was so down. Terlalu lemah, terlalu sedih, terlalu rindu. On Sunday, aku pergi sorang diri. Just to be near mama alone. I told her I have bought new car...I told her I got bonus, I told her everything I want to tell her hoping that all that disampaikan pada Mama. I ask Allah to give me strengh like He gave to my mama before.... Right now i feel so fragile and lost...Ya Allah, kuatkan aku...
I go through mama recipe book today. Ada satu buku ditulis year 1981..I was 4yrs old by then. I come across my drawing , well actually my conteng2 in the book. Mama tak padam pun... mama biar je kat situ in between the recipe... My tears drop fast... I dont even remember I had my drawing in there. I have not open the book since then i guess....
When I was in kindergarden, mama send me by walking..its not near, but mama dont care. I was tough kid back then. Tak nak pergi sekolah...panjat pagar and all...Mama sabar layan..mama even wait for me till I calmed down....but at last mama found solution...Mama get me transport, so she doesnt have to walk, she just wait for me at the block. I was ok with transport...dah tak panjat pagar...
Thats what I mIss her most...Mama always has a solution for my problem. Ada sekali tu , aku goreng kaki ayam..and its meletup,minyak percik all over. If Mama still around, I would definitely call and ask her what to do. Last 2 days I burned my thumb...I told Papa, he just said 'ok ke'?...if Mama, mesti she give suggestion what to do...
I lost Mama...I Lost part of myself...I lost my energy... I am lost in this sorrow...
The last thing I want to hear from people is 'How are U?'..bcos i would lie to answer that question...I'm not OK...I am still recovering very slowly....
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